Never Stop Questioning

It’s funny how the world works.

What makes you think of a certain person? Do a certain action? Watch that movie? Get those weird feelings inside? People usually respond with God or some higher power. I don’t think that way, but I am always astounded by the way nature works. The past week has been particularly interesting,  surely I have had weeks like this before but I figured that I would write about this one.

Late at night when  I can’t sleep I tend to ponder Facebook. Just skimming through profiles or whatever, friends and non-friends; catching up on all the latest and greatest. Well, I recently visited an old friend’s profile out of random curiousity – haven’t caught up in a while. I don’t message or talk to or add as a friend again. Because honestly I don’t care; I’m only interested in them at this given time. It’s weird and creepy but whatever. Anyway, just out of the blue, two days after I looked at their profile on Facebook, they messaged me. Now, keep in mind, we haven’t talked in years. So this was really weird, but like I said, nature is pretty fascinating.

It gets better. Four and two days ago, meaning on two occasions,  my boyfriend and I were watching Mrs. Doubtfire. We love that movie. And we were commenting on it’s greatness as well as how awesome Robin Williams was. We’ve always wanted to know if he adlibbed that whole animation scene, as well if the way the wig scene was filmed was the way it was intended. Through watching the movie, laughing of course, I was reminded that I really wanted to buy Dead Poet’s Society because I also freaking love that movie – and I am just starting my teaching career. I can see it now……tearing out the pages of the math textbook.. Hahahaha I seriously love that movie. THEN ROBIN WILLIAMS DIES oh my goodness I almost started crying. I am legitimately heartbroken over his death. I don’t care for celebrities too much, but he was one of the few. He was in all my childhood movies making me laugh,  cry, think about life. I am so sad for his passing. I am also happy that he is no longer suffering. While I wish his condition could have been cured or managed, it put a lot of things into perspective. It shows that even though you, publicly, are an awesome person and have things that others dream of having,  you aren’t always happy. All those things, despite what people think, don’t make you happy – I mean they can for a while, but certainly not long term. It’s so crazy.

Life works so weirdly. Have you ever thought about why you went through certain “life events”? Or crossed paths with a certain someone? Thought about why you think or the method of your thinking and why you might think that way? Life is so cool when you start thinking and connecting all those characteristics.




The Little Things

Today is one of those days where everything is turned upside down and overwhelmingly in your face. Welcome to the day after super crazy weekend traveling during your last semester of undergraduate. 

My life’s a little crazy at the moment, but I’m trying to reign it in. Between work, classes and a shit ton of job interviews, I honestly can’t tell you how I do it. I am somehow strong enough to handle everything, and be there for the people who need me. I have miraculously been able to manage my time without having a full-on breakdown. I’m not going to explain everything going on in my life – that’s a little too personal. But what I did want to write about were the little things in life that can keep you going.

I just got back from my Fraternity Convention in Michigan. These are one of those events where you keep going until you almost pass out by pure exhaustion; between Brothers, fun, and exploring it’s almost like you never want to sleep. I love convention so much, and it truly strengthens the bonds of Brotherhood. It’s traveling back that isn’t so fun. It’s getting back into the groove of things, and that reality of “oh shit, people are still in their routines and expect everything from you”. Yeah…been fighting a whirlpool today. Whatever, long story short, I had the privilege to travel with the chapter mascot: Moo. He’s this tiny, albino blacksheep that desperately needs some tender loving care. I mean we love him obviously, butttttt, he could use a day at the spa. Anyway, this stuffed animal is one of the best little things to have. (Elmo is also great; I’ve had him since I was born.) Moo is the best therapy sheep of all time…. yeah let that soak in hahahahaha! Moo, a stuffed sheep, gives me such a sense of security that it calms my nerves and worries.

Here’s my explanation; Moo is treated like a person – with the exception of when I not-so-gracefully shoved him in my duffle bag. We love him, make him talk, take care of him (like he needs a bath, a hair makeover, and some food); he’s one of us. Fun fact: Moo is nothing more than a tiny white sheep thing that is a little bit bigger than my forearm. But somewhere, I find comfort in holding him or talking to him as if he were a live breathing animal. I love to make his hair look like Albert Einstein, and tie his scarf into a bow. Moo gives me a sense of security; a sense of Brotherhood. We all have our own version of a mascot, and love them the same ways. They represent our chapters, what we’ve gone through, and what we’re overcoming. It’s one of those special bonds. 


I have a similar thing with a necklace that I own. It was given to me as a gift, and every time I wear it, I feel like the person is with me – being supportive or whatever emotion I need that day. It’s just a necklace that was given as a gift. Of course gifts are important, but a lot of people give gifts. But this one in particular has a special place in my heart. 


I feel like I’m being circular, and not getting to the point hahaha

My point: Remember the little things in life that make you smile, and feel good. They aren’t always the biggest and best things in life, but somewhere that thing is something super special to you. It’s like when a child draws you a picture that is simply scribbles – there’s something inside that says “keep this picture because they gave it to you out of love”. When life tries to spin you out of control, just step back and remember those little things. They’ll keep you in check.

MUSIC! Music helps too. Goodness! So, I ran for a national position within my Fraternity and the entire time I was there I was freaking out. I freaked out so much I pretty much made myself sick [sorry]. BUT, this was/is super important to me! I wanted to do a good job, and get the position. So up until about maybe 45 minutes before I had to give my speech, I was freaking out. THEN IT HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS. I said “LZE, you idiot, what do you do when you freak out at school? LISTEN TO MUSIC. What do you do when you’re nervous? LISTEN TO MUSIC!” So, I pulled out my phone, curled up in a corner and meditated if you will. The Titanium cover by the Piano Guys has this way about it that feeds my soul, calms me down, and gets me ready to take on the world. That’s what I did. It took me 1.5 days to remember that, but I’m so glad I did [because I rocked my speech]. But it’s things like that. Something so simple as music, or a song that just gets you to put the world back into perspective. It’s a beautiful thing.


Music is the soul of life. 


[Moo & Elmo travel from Michigan!]


(When I stop being so crazy busy, I have some articles I want to write on. So stay alert because within the next three weeks they’ll be coming back on full blast!)

Thank you for reading.

xo, LZE