Never Stop Questioning

It’s funny how the world works.

What makes you think of a certain person? Do a certain action? Watch that movie? Get those weird feelings inside? People usually respond with God or some higher power. I don’t think that way, but I am always astounded by the way nature works. The past week has been particularly interesting,  surely I have had weeks like this before but I figured that I would write about this one.

Late at night when  I can’t sleep I tend to ponder Facebook. Just skimming through profiles or whatever, friends and non-friends; catching up on all the latest and greatest. Well, I recently visited an old friend’s profile out of random curiousity – haven’t caught up in a while. I don’t message or talk to or add as a friend again. Because honestly I don’t care; I’m only interested in them at this given time. It’s weird and creepy but whatever. Anyway, just out of the blue, two days after I looked at their profile on Facebook, they messaged me. Now, keep in mind, we haven’t talked in years. So this was really weird, but like I said, nature is pretty fascinating.

It gets better. Four and two days ago, meaning on two occasions,  my boyfriend and I were watching Mrs. Doubtfire. We love that movie. And we were commenting on it’s greatness as well as how awesome Robin Williams was. We’ve always wanted to know if he adlibbed that whole animation scene, as well if the way the wig scene was filmed was the way it was intended. Through watching the movie, laughing of course, I was reminded that I really wanted to buy Dead Poet’s Society because I also freaking love that movie – and I am just starting my teaching career. I can see it now……tearing out the pages of the math textbook.. Hahahaha I seriously love that movie. THEN ROBIN WILLIAMS DIES oh my goodness I almost started crying. I am legitimately heartbroken over his death. I don’t care for celebrities too much, but he was one of the few. He was in all my childhood movies making me laugh,  cry, think about life. I am so sad for his passing. I am also happy that he is no longer suffering. While I wish his condition could have been cured or managed, it put a lot of things into perspective. It shows that even though you, publicly, are an awesome person and have things that others dream of having,  you aren’t always happy. All those things, despite what people think, don’t make you happy – I mean they can for a while, but certainly not long term. It’s so crazy.

Life works so weirdly. Have you ever thought about why you went through certain “life events”? Or crossed paths with a certain someone? Thought about why you think or the method of your thinking and why you might think that way? Life is so cool when you start thinking and connecting all those characteristics.

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LZE

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Food For Thought

Read this: Lemon Germs

While this article is dated January 27, 2014, I think it still deems worthy of discussion. It talks about the lemons you put in your water at restaurants. Now, people put lemons in their water for many reasons. The most common I hear are: “Freshens water”, “Sterilizes water”, “Gives taste to water”. Okay so you can put “Freshens water” and “Gives taste” pretty much in the same category. This is what people say when they refuse to accept the fact that water is supposed to be bland, and that the water they just received was tap water. While a lemon has the ability to “sterilize” your water, it will not do so as you think unless the lemon was literally cut right as they served you your drink, and you dunked the lemon in the water. Even then, I’m not so sure it would work. I haven’t run experiments on it, but thinking about the acidity of lemons, I can see it potentially happening. But regardless, we know that’s not how it works.

If you read the article through, or at least just the last paragraph, it also says that the same germs found on the lemons, are also found on salt shakers, ketchup bottles and things of that nature. Gross, right? Well, sadly, it’s true. I mean it’s the same germs you would find on a bathroom handle, door, chair, anything really that you touch and other people touch as well. OH, YOUR CELL PHONE. How many germs do you think are on your cell phone? ugh, you’d never pick that thing up again if you really knew.

It’s the facts of life. I mean unless you live in a bubble, you can’t really avoid these germs. My only advice is to watch what you do. I mean it’s the same thing with what you eat by reading the ingredients. Long story short: Pay attention. Pay attention to what you touch, what you eat, what you do. As long as you pay attention, you’ll be fine.

How are we supposed to live if we keep being held back by worrying about germs? Okay, so that’s a little too simplified, but it’s kind of true. I mean, you’re supposed to eat dirt so you won’t eat it again. Germs, on a very basic level, help keep our immune systems up. It’s the natural way as opposed to all those vitamins and pills people take because they don’t account for them in their diets.

LONG LIVE THE GERMS. I don’t know why I wrote that, but I feel that germs always get the raw end of the deal. I mean, they are kind of mean and nasty and gross, but they are living organisms too!

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xo, LZE

Life After College

Well if you ask me: do you feel like a college graduate?

I’ll tell you

no

 

It feels like any other summer after a grueling academic year. My job doesn’t require me to be there until August; perks of the education field. While people think that’s great, I think it’s boring. When something new enters my life, I want to explore it – take advantage of everything it has to offer. There’s nothing new here; I’ve already explored everything it has to offer. It’s the same old town with the same – if not higher – gas prices and the same people. While I love being at home with the family, animals, and friends, it gets boring after a while (and really annoying, but we won’t go there). Everyone talks about the same crap and does what they have always done. Well, no wonder why they complain about adult life being so boring…

I’m ready to move on.

In the process of moving on, I’m moving seven states away from where I currently am (one state from before). It’s exciting and wallet-burning all at the same time. While I am incredulously bored at home, I’m extremely grateful I don’t have to pay stuff right now, and then all the moving costs. But you can argue that those costs would be lower if I lived closer, but then I’d have to buy a lot of new stuff and it just gets complicated after that.

One of the things I have come to miss already in my twenty-five days post graduation are those student discounts. While these savings never really amounted to much, they still helped some how. 10% here, 5% there. IT ADDS UP LIKE PENNIES YOU PICK UP OFF THE STREET. Okay, so maybe not exactly, but it’s still satisfying.

What are you looking forward to most in the coming months? Furnishing my apartment in such a way that doesn’t scare off the boyfriend. I really want to paint my dresser in a girly manner – I mean it is my dresser – and have a lot of cute Pintrest-y things! But I also have a large tye-dye peace tapestry that has all my race bibs attached to it that I absolutely LOVE and well, it’s not being placed in the living room. I’m also looking forward to it just being me, the boyfriend and the cat. It’ll be so nice not to compromise with roommates that are just as fussy as you.

I am also extremely excited to start my teaching career. I’m terrified because I hold teachers to a high standard, and now I’m putting myself in that spot. Do I fit? We’ll see. I’m nervous because this is entirely new to me; I never studied education in school, only went through it for the last seventeen years of my life. I’ll make mistakes, but I also know how to learn from them. I also have a FANTASTIC support system that I know I can lean on if I need to. I’m just nervous because I want to do well, and give the kids what they want from a physics teacher – and no, not having class isn’t going to fly. I promise it will be fun. Do you really think that I would be that boring, old, grey, monotoned physics teacher? hell no. Physics is ten times better than falling asleep in class.

What are you looking forward to the least? Money spent. hahaha that’s pretty much it. Student loans kick in soon after I start getting paid. But it’s nothing budgeting can’t fix! I’m used to not making a lot of money any way. Hellooo, just graduated college. Broke College Student is nothing to mess around with when people pay their own way through college.

 

Those are the top three questions these days.

xo, LZE

Think Before You Speak

People are can be mean.

People are can be self-centered.

People love to pull the “I’m going through more shit than you” card to belittle the people around them. This may a conscious effort, or it may not be. Personally, this shouldn’t be a competition we have. I’m guilty of it too; don’t think I’m not. However, I only pull it when I know for almost fact that I am going through more than they currently are.

Side tangent: Most people actually don’t know my daily life. They can think they do, but very few know. While in my senior year of one of the hardest majors among all colleges (physics) I wake up [usually] at 5:30am to workout (unless injured) then move on with my day until roughly 8 or 9pm; then it’s homework time. Two jobs totaling an average of about 26 hours a week. Full class load along with all that homework. Job interviews. Research. Tutoring middle school students. A, now, long distance boyfriend whom I love dearly. Housework. Emails. Eating food somewhere in there. Out of classroom requirements. Group meetings. Maintaining my close friend relationships. And some how keeping myself sane. How do I do it? I just do. I like to keep busy. So when I say “I have no time”, more often than not, I legitimately don’t have time. This also neglects medical issues in which I will not discuss.

Regardless, I didn’t say that to pull the “I really am going through more shit than you” card. I said it because if I didn’t, you wouldn’t know. When people pull this card, they usually are looking for sympathy because they just don’t want to face what they have to. Fair, but sometimes sympathy isn’t deserved.

I guess the reason behind this post is think before you speak. I don’t pull this card often because I don’t know what people are going through. I have friends dealing with: children, their parents facing cancer, their own serious medical issues, not being able to work because of school and more. I don’t know what that’s like. Imagining isn’t usually as close as experiencing. All of the friends I just referenced above, they never pull the “I’m going through more shit than you” card. Never. Maybe a few times when they’ve been fed up with society’s selfish ways, but other than that, they just do. They handle it and keep going, because they almost have to. I know I’m a strong individual, but so are they. They are so strong for continuing their life and not giving up. So strong for being the kind and caring people they are; they would do anything for someone else before themselves. They could so easily just end it, which is sad. No one should ever have to resort to that, or have friends and family deal with the aftermath…

Just think before you speak, it does much more good than you think.

Thanks for reading,

xo, LZE

A Love You Can’t Explain

Music; it’s not what you hear, but what you feel.

I cannot agree more with this statement. One quote I have lived by for years and years also holds true: “where words fail, music speaks”. I feel these two quotes combined explain my love of music entirely. It’s a relationship that’s extremely difficult to understand, explain, and really show how much it means to a person. The only way one truly understands is if they experience it themselves.

Music holds a special place in my heart. It has helped me jump over many hurdles – run many miles quite literally – and has given me this soul satisfaction. To some people that sounds weird. Sometimes I know I freaked someone out by admitting that music literally feeds my soul. But it does. I think most music is absolutely beautiful in arrangement and lyrically. When playing or even just listening, I get lost. Travel to another world; one that knows me and gets me completely. One where I’m happy all the time. One where nothing is ever wrong. When singing, I feel that connection between my own emotions or the emotions of the artist. I may love physics and math but my heart also resides with my passion for music and the arts. A constant battle that will never end – the meaning behind my tattoo.

The one most absolute thing I look forward to after graduating is playing the piano again. Songwriting. Singing. That’s the other place I belong. For the last four years I put that life on hold. I needed to dedicate myself to physics; it’s hard as shit sometimes. I didn’t completely ignore music. I listen to it (occasionally at loud levels) and sing (which I know annoys my roommates, but they have to get over it. I will never stop singing.) but they don’t complete me. I need to play. I need to remember how to play. I want to get back into taking lessons. I have so much more to learn.

“Why don’t you learn for yourself? You can read sheet music.” True. I am a self taught pianist. I was trained in voice and guitar until I got carpal tunnel in both of my wrists at 14. I wanted an instrument; I took my knowledge of music theory and applied it to piano. It works but I am nowhere where I want to be. Fun fact: because I was never trained really in piano, I can’t read sheet music and play at the same time. That is my biggest downfall. I can read it just fine and play just fine, but I can’t play what I’m reading at that moment. I want to fix this. One day.

One day I’ll get back there.

Xo, LZE